


Fangirls and Phone Calls

by RebelDrFerguson



Series: Collections - Peter/You [6]
Category: Real Person Fiction
Genre: F/M, Swearing, bad fluff, crazy fangirls, no smutt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-04
Updated: 2015-08-04
Packaged: 2018-04-12 23:38:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4499148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RebelDrFerguson/pseuds/RebelDrFerguson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter's out in Cardiff on his break from set when he's spotted by 3 rather rambunctious fangirls. As he's followed around town he calls the reader for help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fangirls and Phone Calls

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Contains strong language and sexual references. No Smutt. The reader is not in a relationship with Peter in this verse but a crew member who is helping him out of a odd situation by PRETENDING to be his wife over the phone. Anything said and or done is merely in fun and not in anyway intended to make it seem as if he’s cheating on his wife .

The day has started as usual for you. Early morning, long drive, boxes to unpack, cameras to check, Headcount for drinks and supplies to be made. Tea and Coffee always had to be in plentiful supply and you made it very much your business to make sure you would have tea bags and flavors, the right grind of beans and note everyones way to take their tea or coffee during the day whether it was down to creamer or sugars. 

Peter’s you would never let anyone else but yourself or Elaine make for him. Why? Because. Just...cause.   
At home it was mentioned they keep quite a few blends of coffee. Mostly Medium blends but Peter would more or less settle on a Douwe Egberts as his everyday and then perhaps splash on his imported Italian roast Martella when the time brought it. 

You knew exactly how much creamer to Milk he liked...and 4 sweetners. No more. Elaine had cut him down from 6 but any less than 4 Peter would tell.   
Though on mornings he liked it thick and black. More espresso really. 

With the morning over and lunch having approached as fast as a cheetah on crack, you were busy helping the others clean up when your phone rang. Now it wasn't unusual for Peter to leave set. In fact it was common and Steven had begun to work his little wanders into routine. 

But to call you? Something was wrong.

 

He’d only planned to be out 15 minutes, Grab a pasty from the bakery, doughnuts maybe...Elaine wouldn't know: she was currently back in London filming. Then Maybe pop into the little jewelry shop and have a look for a new watch since he'd somehow cracked the front of his current one on the worktop in his trailer yesterday like some clumsy fool.   
He’d just made his way past a huge stall of T-shirts and Jackets and urban branded clothes munching on a doughnut when he heard the gasp. 

Looking over his shoulder he spotted three girls. Perhaps 18...20? years old not too far way and currently whispering frantically and clearly taking a picture of him. Though Peter being Peter he was more concerned they’d captured him eating the doughnut and that if Elaine knew anything of these Twitter or Tumblr sites she might see it...well he'd have to cross that bridge when he came to it.   
Deciding to ignore them and continue to browse the line of skull shirts the stall had hung up he hadn’t heard one of them come over.

“--Mr Capaldi! OhgodIcan’tbelieveItIsYou! SorryCanIGetyourAutograph!--”  
The sudden rush of words thrown in his direction from this small brunette made him jump. In truth he wasn't even sure what she'd just said but ‘Autograph’ and from the pen and pad she was holding, suggested that is what she wanted.   
Well he could never turn down a fan.   
As he asked for her name and started to write, both of her friends approached a little more cautiously. He guessed Malcolm was still very much a physical appearance thing eh.   
Chuckling, he offered if they wanted one and proceeded to pull out his own pad.   
He hadn’t gotten to the third girl yet when the first one began asking questions. 

Now. Usually he didn’t care...fans were fans...and well they were to be honest a bit like groupies, just minus the mini skirts, smoking and sex.   
He looked over to the girl he was writing the autograph for who was in nothing but a Tardis T-shirt, a neon yellow miniskirt and those flat ballet shoes.  
Okay. Just the smoking and sex. Oh and his band, he wasn't in a band anymore. 

“--God I love your hair, it must take so much time to get it so perfect, what products do you use??--”  
Smiling and handing the second girl her autograph he ran his hand through it. “--100% natural looks darling, I even hold back on hairspray these days--”

That seemed to set them off blogging about hair product brands and something how awesome his hair would look Tardis blue.   
“--Wow, what aftershave is that, it smells like my Biology tutors, well you're both Doctors--” That caused nervous high pitched laughter.  
He pretended he hadn't heard that one.   
As he handed the third girl her autograph he bent down to scratch his knee making his jeans ride up flashing his socks causing all three of them to go into some mad frenzy about his mate Craig.

“--Oh god your socks there like Craigs. I was watched a montage thing last night on youtube and he wears so many jazzy socks like that, I mean you’re older right and you were in a band he must have got that off you?--”  
“--Conor wanted to start a band but I told him if he ain't going to age like you and fine wine then a guitar ain't gonna make me date him…--”  
By this point he was scared.   
Connor? Jazzy socks? Youtube….brain was confused and yelling RUN.

“--Okay, well, I better go...I need to be back on set in 5 mintues...so…--”  
Turning he looked around quickly and made for the main road. The girls shouting their Thank You's and one he was sure shouted I love you as he made a striding dash for the nearest corner.  
Making down the road he looked behind him to check whether they were following….nope. He slowed down, but just as he stopped to look for where he'd spotted that jewelry store. He saw them heading back his way, spotting him and still taking pictures. Oh man.  
Distraction….Distraction.   
Pulling out his phone he quickly keyed in Elaine's number pausing to hide slightly beside a van.   
Checking his watch he groaned. Fuck she’d be in her meeting now and sure enough it went to voicemail. Leaving what he hoped was a light hearted hey I miss you call me back type reply, he stepped out from behind the van to spot the girls now standing on the opposite side of the road quietly literally watching him now. Okay...getting creepy. 

One of them was on the phone to he guessed some other fangirl. “--Oh my god fine thighs thursday alert, tumblr anit ready beth tumblr anit ready!--”

WHAT?  
He glanced down at himself, Thighs? These trousers weren’t that tight. They had to be on about someone else but no there were indeed looking at him!  
Spinning on heel he made for the jewelers, still messing with his phone trying to look like he was texting at least. Fuck it, he hit the screen randomly and prayed who ever he was calling would pick up.

That person was indeed you. 

“--Peter? You lost again hun?--” you laugh as you hand back the clipboard to sue.  
“--Hey love how you doing, is the cat feeling better yet?--”

Cat? LOVE?  
“--Peter? Did you mean to call Elaine…--”   
You didn’t know exactly how to respond. Your rather non innocent schoolgirl lusty crush on him was currently having spasms right now and your standing as if frozen to the spot unsure what to do like wasp had landed on your shoulder. 

“--Oh shame...at least he’s eating then eh?--”  
“--I hope...so…--” you drop into a whisper and move away from the camera man who was sat munching crisps in his chair.

“--Peter? what are you doing?--”

Ducking down a alley and out into the previous street he checked the girls hadn’t seen him.  
“--I’ve got...fangirls…--”

you laughed. “--Well theres plenty more waiting back here if you need some--”  
He tuts. “--Nooo...following me...They caught me for autographs and now they're following me but I dont want to lead them back to the set, just play Elaine for a mintue while I shake them off…--”

You automatically agree to do so without voicing it after hearing the slight worry in the Scots tone. Clearly they were a bit more FAN then usual.   
“--Ookay...have you had lunch?--”  
It was really the only thing that came to mind.  
He ducked behind a street stall as the girls appeared in the street again “--He’s fast hang on, ou there!--” “--Crap memory's full, sorry daniel radcliff collection DELETE!--”

“--Okay...wow yeah I see your problem…--”  
“--Lunch was fine hun, I’m just wandering around town on my way back to set now…--”  
“--Can you lose them in the alleys? Where are you? I’ll come find you--”

Peter ducked via a large group of people past a stall and out onto the main road quickly jogging across the empty road and looking back over his shoulder. They were still trying to follow him. “--I’m on...er...gods street sign people, do we not know what a street sign is?--” Then he noticed the castle.  
“--I must be on high street, I’m heading towards the castle--”

Your jogging away from the set as soon as he mentions the castle. He couldn’t have been more than 10 mintues away...5 minutes if you ran. He chuckles when he hears you panting.

“--Bit out of breath sweetheart? I know I can wear a girl out but I’m not even trying right now--”   
“--Don’t get cocky or I’ll leave you to the fangirls, though you're no chris evans!--”

Peter tuted at that come back. “--True, No captain america--” he sighed playfully. But you took the bait.  
“--Damn, didn’t mean to...crap now I have to pick up your self esteem while i’m out as well--” you joked hoping he’d laugh. 

He glanced about the girls seemed to have disappeared suddenly. “--Wha...where’d they...oh!--”  
And they were back but this time in front of him having come round the other end of the street cutting off his path.  
He turned quickly and made for across the road again heading towards that old corner bookshop.

“--Are you by the castle babe?--” you winced at yourself calling him babe. Okay need a better pet name. Right now you were doing rather badly at playing his wife.   
“--No...they cut me off ….Babe?--” you heard the slight joking disgust in his voice at that name.  
“--Sorry, shit pet name what does she call you?--”  
You hate yourself the second you ask, though a teeny bit of you was curious. 

“--Things that you shouldn’t hear, how about honey?--”

“--Too sweet, you're not sweet...pumpkin?--”  
“-- urgh hate pumpkins…ou pussycat!--” It was tabby as well, he loved those.

As you stop at the castle panting a little and blushing having heard the word pussy and the kissy noises Peter was making down the phone.   
“--Excuse me?--”

“--Hm? Oh sorry I found a cat on the wall, who’s a cute lil fella…stop rolling your eyes at me yet i’m still being hunted!--” leaving the cat alone he made a quick jog around the corner and dived into the bookshop ducking down and dropping to the floor by the nearest set of shelves out of view, there was a rather perplexed and slim looking blonde male with a sticker gun standing beside him. Effeminate was probably a light word to use for him. “--Can I help you...Doctor?--”   
Peter glanced up from his spot still on the phone to you and smiled.   
“--Fangirls--”  
Like it explained everything. The man blinked and then looked out of the window as the three girls rushed past hollering on about ‘where’d he go?’ and something about penguin running time lords should not be able to get away so quickly. 

The young male seemed rather concerned just by watching them past. “--Stay as long as you need honey--” he ended that conversation with a click of the sticker gun against a book and went back to the desk. 

“--So where are you, honey!--”

“--Haha very funny...I’m in Smiths...you know the little bookshop on the opposite street corner by the butchers?--”

You’re moving quickly and just as you get to the shop you see the girls come back your way. Deciding not to give away Peter’s hiding place, you stand still, letting them pass, “--Ohmygod have youseenpeter??--”   
That’s when you realise you have the Doctor who Crew logo printed on your T Shirt. Trying to be nice and not want to rip them into several pieces for wanting to get there hands on your not actual husband, but in your dreams perhaps and that that you're actually taking pride in him having asked you to pretend to be his wife over the phone, even though it was going badly.   
“--He’s back on set--” you smiled through gritted teeth watching as they start squeaking about the yellow signs and rushing off to find the way.   
Entering the shop you look up to the cute little bell on the door and step around the bookshelf...one row...two rows...and ah ha. 

Spotting you he hangs up the phone. “--Hey--”  
You re-pocket your phone and sit down beside him. “--You might be stuck here until they give up looking?--”   
“--Well I’m in no rush--” he pulls out his wallet and hands you a 20. You look at him curiously.   
“--I know you asked me to pretend to be your wife but I doubt that acting could warrant payment--” you joke shyly now feeling very awkward and seemly just digging yourself deeper into your crush. 

He laughs. “--Well you see, they threw me off my little trip...I spotted a shirt on that stall back on the street of the bakery annndd I want it but this is good chance for you to go get it for me it’s the blue one with the gem skull and snakes--”  
Your tut but find yourself getting up.  
“--You can also check whether they’ve gone too--” he grins innocently from his spot against the science fiction novels which made the situation just more ironic. 

“--Yes...Mr President--” weakly salute finding that really you should be ushering him back to set not being his errand boy.   
Just as you go to leave his phone rings. It’s his wife.   
“--Hello darling...how was the meeting?--”

Well...that was fun while it lasted.


End file.
